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The Coolest Thing to Ever Happen In Suburban Connecticut

February 27, 2008 | Author: Travis | Filed under: Geek

I attended high school in stereotypical suburbia in a town called Avon.

You may know Avon from the Super Sweet Sixteen Party of Bjorn, the unambiguously gay African American.

But today I write not on the clichéd subject of wealthy African-American opulence and confused sexuality, but a matter far more pressing.

I write about a battle of good versus evil that is as old as the universe itself.

I write about a day in June when all hell broke loose in my High School.

You can see the chaos unleashed upon the unsuspecting denizens below.

Explanation at bottom.

The Sith Gather (I am the one with the blue sword…)

The Jedi Charge

Now that you have no doubt shat yourself from the awesomeness that you just witnessed, feel free to reenact similar epic battles around the nation and wider world.

This battle arose from the three year gaping void that was a suitable Senior prank. The year before an idiot (Andy St. Onge if anyone was still wondering) and his friends cut down the large tree that was in the center of green where everyone sat during lunch.

Credit for the epic battle goes to Mike Wilson. The whole thing was organized on facebook. At 11 AM we all sort of worked our way into the lobby, with the Sith Gathering on one side and the Jedi on the other.

Not a single plastic light saber could be found within a 30 mile radius.

The lobby gathering took about 15 minutes and drew the attention of the passing teachers and administrators who watched nervously from the edges.

Then came the Star Wars theme song blasting in shitty monotone. And we charged.

The pictures are almost all from the central lobby of my school, but the battle quickly progressed throughout the hallways. The stampede of multi-colored swinging death sticks worked is way through the upper and lower hallways.

At no point did teachers try to stop us and even more amazingly no one lost an eye/hand.

Around 15 minutes later, we returned for one final stand in the lobby before returning to our classes and boring lives.

Thus is suburbia.

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2 people have left comments

oh my god…YOU RULE! *high fives* that is a seriously genius senior prank, i wish more kids would think of clever things to do rather than resorting to vandalism.